Watching the Rain
by wallACEwho
Summary: The Doctor thinks back over what Donna means to him and her place in his life.


Authors Note: I own nothing except a wish that Donna will return.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who watched the first two minutes of 'The Next Doctor' and thought that the Doctor was a tad too cheerful. Especially considering his reaction at the end of Journey's End. I know that some time may have passed but still. So I wrote this missing scene.

Thanks to Scout Girl for reading it over first

Happy Reading

**Watching the Rain **

The Doctor stood in the rain leaning against the door of the TARDIS. Opposite him was a pub and he knew that in about five minutes Donna Noble would be leaving with some of her friends from work.

The Doctor had been watching Donna for a couple of weeks. Not in a stalker type of way but in a making sure the metecrisis didn't kill her type of way. He knew that he shouldn't be there but some part of him needed to see her.

He knew that blocking her memories had been the only way to save her but it had still killed him to do it. From the first time he had seen her screaming at him as she stood in her wedding dress she had had a special place in his hearts.

"_Screaming at the universe. Cause nobody's listing." _

Unknowingly she had bought him out of his depression over the loss of Rose. It had taken him months of floating round in the vortex for him to find that fissure and every moment had been agony. But after Donna he had been ready to move and was forever grateful to the mysterious earth girl.

Then she had found him again. She had taken her life in her hands and tried to make herself a better person so she could be more than just a temp from Chiswick.

"_Best temp in Chiswick. Hundred words a minute."_

She hadn't expected anything from him. He knew that he had treated Martha badly and he had it clear to Donna that he didn't want a relationship just a friend. Donna had given him that. For one short space of time he had recaptured that joy that came from exploring that he hadn't felt since his fourth incarnation.

"_With Martha, like I said, it got ... complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate."_

For all her screaming and tough exterior Donna Noble had cared for everyone regardless of time and race. He could still remember her screaming at him after Vesuvius begging him to save just one person.

He remembered his words to Professor Lazarus that day in the cathedral .

_"I'm old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one. In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tried of losing everyone that matters to you. Tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone."_

He knew that he had been on a crash course towards destruction. He was reaching a stage where he would end up just drifting around in the vortex allowing the universe to go to wrack and ruin, Because he just didn't care.

"_He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe."_

His role was a lonely one. Last protector of a universe that didn't want protecting.

"_He's saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there, He never stops he never stays, he never asks to be thanked."_

He had begun to think that his life was too dangerous to take someone with him. Too many monsters, too much danger, too much death.

"_The monsters and the Doctor. It seems you cannot have one without the other."_

But Donna had changed that. She had shown once more that the universe was a wonderful place and for the first time in years he had seen it through the eyes of someone else. For a short span of time the Lonely God was not so lonely.

Then she had left him too. Oh she hadn't wanted too but the only way for Donna to live was for him to kill the person she had become. His Donna was dead and in her place was the pringle loving gossip queen she had been.

Looking up he saw her leave the pub with her friends giggling and laughing. She seemed happy and for the Doctor that lessoned the pain a bit. Re-entering the TARDIS he took his beloved machine to Donna's house.

Wilf opened the front door "hello Doctor" he said quietly.

"Hello Wilf" the Doctor replied "can I come in."

Once he seated on the sofa with a cup of tea the Doctor spoke again "so where's Sylvia this evening" he said trying to make conversation.

"She has a life drawing class" the old man replied.

Silence reigned once more before Wilf at last spoke up "what do you want Doctor."

The Doctor looked down into the depths of his teacup "is she happy" he said.

Wilf nodded "seems that extra knowledge she gained from you has stuck".

"She can never remember" the Doctor yelled suddenly "if she does she will die."

"I know" Wilf yelled "all I meant is that she's been able to gain a much better job than she ever had before and she's talking about going off to college to do Business"

The Doctor smiled. That was the Donna he had known.

"She's not dead Doctor" Wilf continued "the Donna you knew, she's just" the old man paused looking for the right word "sleeping. I promise you she's still there."

"Thank you Wilf" the Doctor said standing up and shaking the old man's hand "you've been a great help."

"_Every night, Doctor, when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky, and think of you."_

As the Doctor reached the front door it opened and Donna stumbled in. As she tripped on the step the Doctor caught her deftly. "Careful" he whispered.

"Thanks" she said looking up "Do I know you."

"John Smith" the Doctor said automatically.

"Were you here before" Donna said questioningly.

"John's a friend of mine" Wilf said suddenly.

"One of your friends from your Stargazing club" Donna asked.

"That's right" Wilf said "wanted to talk about the meeting on Tuesday."

"Well better be going" the Doctor said "It was nice to meet you Donna."

Shutting the door behind him he paused on the doorstep for a moment listening to Donna tell her Grandfather about the promotion she had just received.

Then he walked back to the TARDIS a small smile gracing his lips and his tears indistinguishable from the rain.

It was time to move on.

* * *

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